As someone who moved many times throughout her life, making friends– and keeping them– was always a challenge. I moved from an early age: from house to house, from one city to another, and a few times from one country to another.
I believe that once you move, you are always a mover– always in search of a new adventure, a new place to explore, and new connections to make.
I’ve moved from one city to another at least four times. Each time I found myself starting over– settling into a new city, getting to know a new area, changing schools, and most importantly, making new friends.
Since I’ve been on the move from the time I was ten years old, what do I even know about real friendships? What do I know about what it takes to keep and maintain connections across borders and distance?
When I was old enough to have a social media account, I created a Facebook profile and started searching for some of my elementary school friends with the little information I remembered from when I was nine years old — with first names and fragments of last names. Unfortunately, I wasn’t lucky enough to find them.
Then in 2010, I left my birthplace, Italy, to move to Canada. It was only a temporary goodbye to the country where I was born and to the connections I made during my teenage years. However, I was certain that this time, I would keep some of the friendships I had built in high school.
Around 2014, I created an Instagram account in search of old friends and high school connections. Through one follow and a suggested profile, I managed to reconnect with some of them — even with people who had once just been classmates, not friends.
This time, I was the one initiating the connections. I was in a different phase of my life — no longer the immature girl who only stayed within her group. Most of my high school classmates were women, and there had sometimes been rivalry — not intentional, but shaped by circumstances and environment. I chose to let that go and start again, especially now that I no longer lived in the same city as them.
Through one like, one comment, and one DM, it was beautiful to see where we all were in this exact moment of our lives — no longer teenage girls, but women in our 30s. Some have careers, some are content creators, and some are mothers. Watching their transformation and evolution into the women they have become was powerful.
I might not have even spoken with some of them during high school. Now, years later, I see how much we actually have in common— the same passions for travelling, HIIT workouts, writing, growth, and self-expression. I’m grateful I didn’t miss the opportunity to connect again. If I hadn’t taken the initiative to add them on Instagram, I would never have discovered how aligned some of my old friendships truly were.
As a TCK, we learn courage — the courage to move into the unknown, adapt to new cities, and learn new languages. But I also learned how to reconnect and how to cherish old connections. People who were companions for only some years of our lives still deserve a place in our story, even if we no longer live in the same city. And it is ok to make the first move and to genuinely reconnect — to remind ourselves of our childhood, teenagehood, and the memories attached to the cities where we spent important chapters of our lives.
I’ve also learned that as TCKs, we are not meant to just have friends in one place, but rather are blessed to have them scattered all around the world. Through constant movement, we’ve mastered the ability to make connections and keep them.
And through the friendships and connections we lost, we learned how to keep the ones that truly matter going forward.
Urmi Hossain is Bengali by blood and Italian by birth. She works in the financial services industry in Canada, where she is currently residing. She is a self-published author, speaker, blogger, polyglot, and mentor. She is the holder of the CFA and CAIA charter. She advocates women’s empowerment and is very passionate about teaching and mentoring other girls and women. She is part of the Women In Leadership for the Victoria Chapter in Canada as the social media lead where she spreads the message of gender equality and more women in leadership positions. She enjoys being a promoter of self-investing and personal development. In her free time, she enjoys reading books and practicing Muay Thai. She has lived in Italy, UK and now lives in Canada.
Other places to find Urmi: LinkedIn, YouTube Channel, Instagram, and Blog , or read her book, Discovering Your Identity: A Rebirth From Interracial Struggle.
